"Work"

I'm so torn!

A friend of mine called and said she's ready to buy a house- was I working or taking time off with the baby? I quickly told her I was working part time and would love to help her. But now as I think about it, I'm really torn.

On one hand, I LOVE the idea of getting back to business and working on something mentally challenging right now. I really truly love my real estate business. This sleep-deprived-survival thing is not fun!! Plus, I hate to pass up an opportunity to work with someone who already knows what they want- they don't come around all that often. Also, the money's good and how else can we build up the truck fund?

On the other hand, I'm thinking I may not be ready to take anything else on.I've been chanting "just survive the first 8 weeks" to myself. I can barely compose a rational thought these days,so what's the chance I can do a good job of this, much less enjoy it? More importantly, I'm afraid that getting back to working will make me dislike the time with the kids. Ug, even thinking about all this has got me feeling much less satisfied with my day- does this make any sense??? I think about what I could be accomplishing and suddenly life as a stay at home mom seems sooooo...... menial.

I know there are many of you who will cringe at all this and try to remind me about how important being a mom is. I know all that. That's why I'm still here. But I also know that when NJ was young I really struggled to enjoy my time at home with him. Some might see it as baby blues, but it was really more like an identity crisis. (There's nothing like going from a 'real job' to staying at home to make you question who you are...) I kept trying to balance work and motherhood- it seemed like it should be possible. However, I've never been given to moderation. I know that when mommy duty and a paying job sit side by side, I'll always feel compelled to do the paid work and be annoyed by the mommy stuff.

Yesterday, I laid Gunner down in his crib for a minute while I helped NJ with something. Then when I came back he seemed pretty content just moving all his limbs, so I just stood over his crib and started talking to him. That's when he let out a big smile and a little half chuckle! It's the first time he's really smiled AT me instead of just in front of me. He was happy to see me!!! What joy to see your child respond to your presence that way! These are the moments that are so hard to anticipate but so easy to miss. If I go back to working, even just a little bit, I know I'll be too busy to just stand there and do nothing...

I guess that's why I had to call my friend back and ask if I could refer her to a co-worker. It hurt me to do so, but I'm hoping that I can enjoy the first six months of Gunner's life instead of the dissatisfaction I remember from the first go 'round. Maybe now would be a good time to start chanting that they're only young for a little while... NJ should start preschool this fall.

Running Head: ON BEING A PROFESSOR

Hopefully some of you can laugh at a little APA humor.... why do we use APA anyway?

So I just finished my second week of teaching last night and I have to say, it's soooooo much more work than I expected. It's fun and I like it, but I'm really looking forward to the second time I teach the same class so there won't be so much invention involved!

I think the most satisfying part of it is seeing the students learn the material and enjoy it. I had several of them tell me that they were enjoying the class and one student even told me how NOW she understood why she should have learned algebra, "but algebra always used boring examples- not interesting ones like this class!" WOW!!! SO COOL!!!!

And so, I press on. I'm working way too many hours these days (suddenly I have three buyers all interested in purchasing a house), but it's all good stuff and Grandma has been nice enough to come over for four days and help out with NJ. I asked my husband several times, "When you invited your mom over, did you tell her I was near a melt down? I think she deserves to know what she's walking into." "Did you mention that I needed help? I'd hate for her to plan on a relaxing vacation only to find me totally unavailable the whole time she's here." "Did you ask her if she was ok playing with NJ all day every day?" I never got a straight answer from the hubby, but my MIL is here and doing soooo much to help, so I maybe she just knew.

Maybe it all just seems like so much because I'm sooooo dog-gone tired. How is it that I forgot how tiring the first trimester is???? I wasn't going to forget anything (ha!).

Professor Update

It's really very exciting! I've always wanted to teach- I can remember all the back to elementary school- we were learning about addition and subtraction and I was able to help my friend understand and she said to me, "you should be a teacher some day." Ok, so maybe I should choose my careers on the advice of a 1st grader (is that what grade you learn addition and subtraction?), but it always stuck with me.

Later in life I learned how little teachers are paid (my mom was a teacher) and decided to go into a more lucrative field. However, I never lost that desire to teach. When I got my first real job after college at a big corporate headquarters, I found that I really enjoyed giving training presentations and teaching people about the management systems we were helping them implement. When we had our annual conferences, I always complained a bit, but really I loved getting up in front of several hundred people and telling them and the latest environmental regulation or how to use the new software we were providing for them.

I can't quite put my finger on what it is about sharing knowledge that I get a kick out of. I think it must have something to do with my sister. I can remember when all her unsolicited "worthless tidbits of information," as I liked to call them, annoyed me to no end, but I soon came around and now agree with her that "there's no such thing as worthless information." Now, I just eat it all up. I love listening to NPR and reading The Economist (when I can get my hands on a free copy- it's way expensive!). I'm also enjoying this article I have to read as 'homework' for my how-to-be-a-University-of-Phoenix-professor class. It's about how students learn, whether knowledge is socially constructed or discovered.

I hope I enjoy teaching as much as I plan!

UofPhx Update

I heard Wednesday that I passed the interview/audition for the University of Phoenix! Yay!!! Now I just have to take their 5 week, one night a week (traditional UofPhx style) faculty certification course. The next course starts march 23, but I'm not sure if I can make that one... So I guess it's all in God's time.

Yay!

Professor Abels?

Several weeks ago I sent my resume to the University of Phoenix with the thought of becoming a professor. In some ways it seemed like a long shot, but in other ways it seems like the most natural thing in the world!

When they emailed back asking me to come to their assessment I decided I should think about it. How much out-of-class time does it take to teach a class? Do I have that time? (Will anyone take me seriously?) Will teaching be as rewarding as I hope or is it like most jobs: there's a reason they pay?

Honestly, I really really love my Realtor work. Real Estate is interesting, every thing's tied to it, I get to work with people... it's a lot of fun! Do I really want to take time away from that and away from my son to teach? Fortunately, UofP is all evening classes, so, since NJ goes to bed at 7 every night, being gone one evening a week from 6-10 isn't so bad. In some ways it might be an ideal job! I have ALWAYS loved teaching in any fashion....

After some time letting it marinate in my mind I decided to go for it. On Monday (the RSVP deadline) I realized that the assessment was actually on Friday! eak! Well, I RSVP'ed for the assessment and went about getting ready. The assessment involved a 15 minute presentation on a topic related to the subject you want to teach, a "leaderless group activity," and a two page "analytic writing assignment" to be turned in on the day of the assessment. But first I have to fill out the formal on-line application. So, I started with that and found that I couldn't get past the first step because they required 15 graduate level credits in the subject you were interested in teaching... Well, my MBA was pretty well-rounded and there isn't any subject (except maybe the generic "management") that I have 15 credits in. So, I promptly sent them an email, on Tuesday, withdrawing from the process. I was disappointed, but a little relieved too- after all, that paper and presentation were going to be a lot of work and I have a pretty hectic week.

Then on Wednesday, I got an email back saying that I had misunderstood the requirements on the website, that I was eligible, and they would like me to come to the assessment. I tried to tell them I would have to wait for the next one, but they weren't thrilled about that. Then, my sister stepped in and convinced me to just go for it: "what's a little 15 min presentation and a 2 page paper?????"

So, with less than 48 hours to prep, I went for it. Honestly, once the presentation was created, I couldn't imagine what I would change if I had another month to prepare, so I guess it worked out. Plus, they gave me an extension on the paper until Sunday night, so really it wasn't so bad. I knocked that out during NJ's nap today (what a wonderful baby to choose today to take an extra long nap!). So now I guess we just wait and see what they think.... Friday's presentation seemed to go well and the leaderless group activity was painless, so.... time will tell...

My Teeth Itch

I'm going a little bit crazy these days. I need some sort of project I can sink my teeth into. (Does that make me as mordacious as my son?) I'd really like to do more work with my real estate business but seeing as how I don't have anyone I can drop NJ off with at a moment's notice, I struggle to make that work. So, while I wait for my one year old to turn six, what should I do? Do other moms struggle with this? It seems like all the other moms I know are very happy and content. Why do my teeth itch?

I keep tossing around the idea of becoming a Stampin' Up Demonstrator, but I worry that I wouldn't be able to keep up the $300 quarterly quota without pressuring friends to buy stuff they don't really want. I've tried finding another RE agent who needs some help with their paperwork (something I can do after NJ's gone to bed at night) but it's a painfully slow market and no one wants to pay anyone else anything. I volunteered to help out with computer stuff at church, but there's not much they need done that can be done from home. A friend offered to let me have a cut if I sold some of her stuff on ebay and I may go ahead with that, but I wonder if I'll struggle to make it to the post office in a timely manner to sell the sold stuff. My sister thinks I should sell some of my papercrafting on etsy and that may work on too, I guess we'll see. I've set up shop, so let me know what you think. Go to: www.arizonamade.etsy.com Maybe I'll come to love the post office ...

I'M CRAFTY!!!

I got my bachelor's in Environment Science in 2000 and got a cool in-house-consultant type job in Michigan right out of school. In 2002 I got accepted to a master's program with my company in conjunction with EMU and started working on my MBA. In the middle of my MBA I changed from the environmental department to the compensation department. It was a crazy change, but my boss was an amazing teacher and I love how different it was. But still, it was all very left brained. So, after a long day of Excel and Access I found I really enjoyed some brightly colored paper and a pair of good scissors, or even a nice piece of fabric and a sewing machine. But I was not a crafty person (I'd say to myself).

After I graduated my husband got a job transfer and we moved to Yuma, Arizona in 2006. I telecommuted but soon grew tired of sitting at home alone all day. I had been dreaming of doing something entrepreneurial for 4 years and I had been doing research for about a year trying to determine what the best venture would be. I ended up choosing to become a Real Estate Agent because I wanted to work with people, I didn't want to have to buy a franchise, and I really enjoyed the experience when we bought our own home. Real Estate is great! You have the softer sides of working with someone through a highly emotional experience, but there's also a lot of contracts and financial calculations to keep my left brain happy.

Then, I had a baby and just like they all said, he changed everything! I feel called to stay home with my son and I enjoy the growing relationship we share. However, I find it difficult now to do much with my real estate work. I try to keep a listing or two, but mostly I just help out friends when they need to buy or sell their home. I miss my real estate work, but I regularly remind myself that I've got the rest of my life to work- he's only small for a few years and then the schools steal him away. So, as a stay-at-home mom, I find my strange schedule is actually very conducive to all those crafts I've been secretly doing for all these years.

Why secret? I didn't like to talk about them too much because I thought that most people would view me as less credible in the business world, it they knew I was "crafty." Is that true? Tell me, when you think about your friends, do you generally consider your crafty friends to be less business minded? Would you want your crafty friend to be the one handling your finances? Would you expect that a CPA could make a beautiful scrapbook?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I’ve recently decided that I’m being very silly. I’ve decided that the traits that made me excel in Corporate America are the same traits that make me “crafty:” I like to try new things. I focus on continuous learning. When I fail, I try, try again. I truly believe that anything you set your mind to, you can do (not perfectly, of course, but then, what’s the cost/benefit justification for perfection?). So, I will now, from this day forward, admit to being crafty. There, I’ve said it, “I’M CRAFTY!”

Now that we have that out of the way, I’m going to try to post my projects on a separate blog, so as to not interfere with the delicate flow of the literature you find here. (I’m being funny, so you should laugh here.) Check it out and comment if you like it.