Tell me, what am I doing here typing away about nothing? This blog is like the Seinfeld of the internet. I was supposed to go to the grocery store (again) tonight and then by the book store to find some ideas for our small group's next study! I need to finish folding and stamping September's newsletter! I need to tidy up the house! I need to go to bed early!
What is it inside so many of us that likes to put off whatever it is we're "supposed" to be doing, to do something else? If I told myself i was going to write at least one blog per day for the next month, I'd suddenly find myself procrastinating blogging with scrapbooking... The mind is such a funny thing... When I was getting my MBA I'd often procrastinated studying with working out and then, another day, procrastinate working out with studying...
How do some people manage to just do whatever it is that they've decided to do? You know the type- always so disciplined about everything... I knew a friend who had been smoking for years and then one day he decided to quit- decided he was getting to old to be messing with his health. So, he quit. Just like that. No patches, no programs. Cold turkey. Pure discipline. He's like that though. Whatever it is he decided to do, he just puts his mind to it until it's done. Me on the other hand, I'm OCD one day and ADD another. Once, back in Michigan, I got all psyched up to paint the walls. I got my paint and roller out and started right in the middle of the big wall. But then I remembered you're supposed to cut in first, so I started taping the baseboards but got bored and decided that I could freehand it. When I got to the corner and worked my way up the wall, I realized I'm not THAT tall, so I ran to the garage to find the ladder. Of course, the garage was such a mess I couldn't find a ladder anywhere, so I started cleaning up in the hopes of stumbling on a ladder. Of course, I quickly realized that I needed some new containers to put the hubby's junk in. So I hopped on down to wally world and while I'm there I realized how hungry I was! I hadn't eaten all day! So I bought a few favorites, drove home and as I walked in, the first thing I saw was my husband looking at the half painted wall with furrowed eyebrows. The worst part was, I had to think a bit before I could remember enough to explain how I got distracted from the painting...
So tell me, where does focus and discipline come from and how do I get it?
Friday, September 5, 2008
How Do I Make My Child Mind
Even though NJ is barely a year old, the question of how to control my child has been vexing me for years! It all started sometime around my nephew's birth in September of 2004. B and I were DINKs and happily rolling along in life. We spent most of our time at work and, for the most part, had little interaction with kids. It wasn't on purpose really, it's just how things worked out. I think we all tend to hang out with people just link us...
Just months after my nephew, Zack was born, some good friends also had their first baby (Amelia) as well. Suddenly it occurred to me, that these babies were little people with their own ideas about what to do and what not to do. Even at 1 week old, if the little tyke decided not to sleep, was there any way to force him???? What about when they got older? Can you make a toddler eat? Sure, you can force food into his mouth, but if he doesn't want to eat, you can't actually make him!!! Oh my gosh, you can't MAKE a child do anything!
Ok, so I admit I'm a bit of a control freak, but really, that concept should strike fear into the hearts of people everywhere!! Sure, there are sweet kids (like my sister) who want to make others happy and will go to great lengths to do what they're told, but what if I ended up with a kid more like me?
Let me break here to tell my mom and dad what AMAZING parents they've been! I now remember countless "talks" that ended with them frustrated and me feeling mistreated because they wouldn't let me have/go/do something. Thank you mom and dad!
Fortunately, Zack and Amelia had great parents and I got to see, first hand, how you help a child learn to make good choices and to control their own behavior. Now I'm a mom and desperately trying to raise a good kid. Years ago I think I assumed that if a kid wasn't behaving it must be because the parent didn't care enough to make them. Honestly, I'm not sure I ever really thought it through, I just never got out of my own little world long enough to see how hard it is. (Pretty self-centered, huh?) There are so many different techniques and all I can say is, if you're really trying to raise a good kid, I'm impressed and I really respect your efforts. It's hard work and each kid is so different. So when your child is throwing a tantrum in the middle of Pier 1, and the teenage store clerk is giving you dirty looks, just know that all the other moms out there understand. My mother-in-law once joked about how it's the people without any kids that always seem to have all the parenting advice and it's true. Before I was a parent I thought I knew so much. Now, all I know is that it's hard, but it's worth it. Experience is quite a teacher.
Just months after my nephew, Zack was born, some good friends also had their first baby (Amelia) as well. Suddenly it occurred to me, that these babies were little people with their own ideas about what to do and what not to do. Even at 1 week old, if the little tyke decided not to sleep, was there any way to force him???? What about when they got older? Can you make a toddler eat? Sure, you can force food into his mouth, but if he doesn't want to eat, you can't actually make him!!! Oh my gosh, you can't MAKE a child do anything!
Ok, so I admit I'm a bit of a control freak, but really, that concept should strike fear into the hearts of people everywhere!! Sure, there are sweet kids (like my sister) who want to make others happy and will go to great lengths to do what they're told, but what if I ended up with a kid more like me?
Let me break here to tell my mom and dad what AMAZING parents they've been! I now remember countless "talks" that ended with them frustrated and me feeling mistreated because they wouldn't let me have/go/do something. Thank you mom and dad!
Fortunately, Zack and Amelia had great parents and I got to see, first hand, how you help a child learn to make good choices and to control their own behavior. Now I'm a mom and desperately trying to raise a good kid. Years ago I think I assumed that if a kid wasn't behaving it must be because the parent didn't care enough to make them. Honestly, I'm not sure I ever really thought it through, I just never got out of my own little world long enough to see how hard it is. (Pretty self-centered, huh?) There are so many different techniques and all I can say is, if you're really trying to raise a good kid, I'm impressed and I really respect your efforts. It's hard work and each kid is so different. So when your child is throwing a tantrum in the middle of Pier 1, and the teenage store clerk is giving you dirty looks, just know that all the other moms out there understand. My mother-in-law once joked about how it's the people without any kids that always seem to have all the parenting advice and it's true. Before I was a parent I thought I knew so much. Now, all I know is that it's hard, but it's worth it. Experience is quite a teacher.
Wow, a Blog
Ah, yet another wonderful way to waste time on the computer! I know my sister is blogging to immortalize their family story (B will be so jealous), but I think I'm just here to spout off the random ideas that occur to me while driving to the grocery store at 8pm after NJ's gone to bed.
