How Do I Make My Child Mind

Even though NJ is barely a year old, the question of how to control my child has been vexing me for years! It all started sometime around my nephew's birth in September of 2004. B and I were DINKs and happily rolling along in life. We spent most of our time at work and, for the most part, had little interaction with kids. It wasn't on purpose really, it's just how things worked out. I think we all tend to hang out with people just link us...

Just months after my nephew, Zack was born, some good friends also had their first baby (Amelia) as well. Suddenly it occurred to me, that these babies were little people with their own ideas about what to do and what not to do. Even at 1 week old, if the little tyke decided not to sleep, was there any way to force him???? What about when they got older? Can you make a toddler eat? Sure, you can force food into his mouth, but if he doesn't want to eat, you can't actually make him!!! Oh my gosh, you can't MAKE a child do anything!

Ok, so I admit I'm a bit of a control freak, but really, that concept should strike fear into the hearts of people everywhere!! Sure, there are sweet kids (like my sister) who want to make others happy and will go to great lengths to do what they're told, but what if I ended up with a kid more like me?

Let me break here to tell my mom and dad what AMAZING parents they've been! I now remember countless "talks" that ended with them frustrated and me feeling mistreated because they wouldn't let me have/go/do something. Thank you mom and dad!

Fortunately, Zack and Amelia had great parents and I got to see, first hand, how you help a child learn to make good choices and to control their own behavior. Now I'm a mom and desperately trying to raise a good kid. Years ago I think I assumed that if a kid wasn't behaving it must be because the parent didn't care enough to make them. Honestly, I'm not sure I ever really thought it through, I just never got out of my own little world long enough to see how hard it is. (Pretty self-centered, huh?) There are so many different techniques and all I can say is, if you're really trying to raise a good kid, I'm impressed and I really respect your efforts. It's hard work and each kid is so different. So when your child is throwing a tantrum in the middle of Pier 1, and the teenage store clerk is giving you dirty looks, just know that all the other moms out there understand. My mother-in-law once joked about how it's the people without any kids that always seem to have all the parenting advice and it's true. Before I was a parent I thought I knew so much. Now, all I know is that it's hard, but it's worth it. Experience is quite a teacher.